Wonderboy
by pancakesareking
Summary: Yaoi[NagiSchuldig] One-shot, and a song-fic to the song "Wonderboy." Nagi comtemplates Schuldig, and the two spend some time together.


This is Nagi/Schuldig  
  
Here be yaoi, kiddies, and dirty words from the mouths of babes.  
  
And when I say babe, I mean the deliciously sexy underage Nagi-poo!  
  
Disclaimer: The song is Wonderboy, by Tenacious D, and I only own the CD, and I don't own Weiss Kruez. That much should be obvious.  
  
Enjoy, and if you bother to read, bother to review, too. Feedback is the metaphorical elixir of my writing life.  
  
***********************  
  
~Wonderboy~  
  
Nagi walked down the street, headphones sheltering his ears from the intrusive noises the world made around him. His knapsack was secured on his back, inside it the six computer magazines he had bought at the bookstore. Schuldig had told him it was pointless to buy such trash, that he was smarter than those magazines. But Nagi didn't want to think about Schu right now though. He pushed the volume button on the portable CD player in his hand.  
  
It was just...he couldn't help but think of Schuldig. The vivacious telepath probably meant it as a compliment when he told Nagi that when an old man molested him, it would be his own fault for looking the way he did. When asked to elaborate, Schu had decided it was ignore-Nagi time. At least now he had some magazines to read to suppress his boredom. Well, Schuldig helped his boredom, but he actually had a life outside of Schwartz. Booze, cigarettes, women, partying...the list went on. Nagi couldn't wait until he was of legal drinking age. Legal anything age. Until then, though, he had to accept all he had were magazines and mere moments and insults from his teammate to keep him sane.  
  
He pushed the button to maximum volume  
  
******************* High above the mucky-muck, castle made of clouds There sits Wonderboy, sitting oh so proudly. Not much to say when you're high above the mucky-muck,  
Yeah, yeah. Wonderboy, what is the secret of your power? Wonderboy, won't you take me far away from the mucky-muck man?  
  
********************  
  
His room was bare, as always, when he stepped inside. Moving around as they did simply required a bed and a computer, and a closet full of...space. Sure, a spare pair of jeans and a t-shirt or two with clever slogans swayed dejectedly from the few hangers. It wasn't like he really needed lots of clothes, though. Sometimes Farfarello would give him worn out bondage pants and faded tank tops, and Brad always bought him new suits, which he kept in his own closet. After Nagi had had a breakdown, he had ruined everything, including all of his perfectly tailored Armani suits. That had really pissed off Brad.  
  
Farf had suggested at one point that Nagi let him decorate the walls with blood. Nagi still wondered if the psychopath had been joking. His walls were...nice in their present state. They were a plain white, yes, but Nagi liked them that way. Schuldig had once offered his own decorating advice once. More colors, he had said, live a little Nagi. Not bad advice, if he had been talking to someone other than a self-depreciative teenager with mental powers he was scorned for. That, and Nagi didn't like colors very much. He did like the color blue, though. Tot had such beautiful blue hair. He liked red, too. Schuldig had...  
  
He took out the CD and placed it in the computer slot, skipping the first few seconds of the song.  
  
********************** Now it's time for me to tell you about Young Nastyman, Archrival and nemesis of Wonderboy, with powers comparable to Wonderboy. What powers you ask? I dunno how 'bout the power of flight? That do anything for ya'? That's levitation, holmes. How 'bout the power to kill a yak from 200 yards away... With mind bullets! That's telekinesis, Kyle. How 'bout the power to move you?  
  
**********************  
  
He dumped the contents of his knapsack on the carpet, glad the music covered the noise of the magazines hitting the floor. From the spot where he stood, he concentrated on neatening the messy books into a pile. He hated to see things out of order, which was why he hated going into Schu's room. The wayward redhead left clothes lying about, and his bed was a perpetual mess. The room itself smelled like cheap liquor and expensive cologne. It was never balanced. Schuldig always blamed his headaches on his telepathy, but Nagi suspected his environment caused them.  
  
He hoped he would remember to rub the fact that he hadn't been molested in Schu's face. The redhead probably wouldn't care, but he needed something to say. Otherwise he would be forced to ask if Schu had a good time out partying and drinking and most likely fucking some nameless woman. Nagi had no doubt that the answer would be yes. Schuldig would then lie down on Nagi's perfectly made bed, thus rumpling the sheets, and ramble on about the joys of women and alcohol.  
  
It just wasn't fair.  
  
******************* History of Wonderboy and Young Nastyman, Riggah-goo-goo, riggah-goo-goo. A secret to be told, a gold chest to be bold, And blasting forth with three-part harmony, yeow! Wonderboy, what is the secret to your power? Wonderboy, won't you take me far away from the mucky-muck man?  
  
********************  
  
Nagi took a deep breath, and focused a glare on the computer magazines on the floor. The damn things were there to help him! Why were they just sitting there? Why the hell wouldn't Schu just get out of his head?  
  
"Because you have the most delicious mind, Nagi-kins!" The nasally voice of the German floated in from the doorway, causing a shocked Nagi to stumble around in surprise.  
  
"Schu! I mean, Schuldig! What are you doing in so early? I figured your wouldn't be back for at least another few" he glanced at his watch "hours."  
  
Schuldig lifted an eyebrow, his lips fixed into a smirk. "Nagi, I only went to the mall. I was looking for some..." he moved his hand in a sweeping gesture, eyes roaming over the walls, "decorations for your room. No missions for a few days, so you and I have plenty of time to fix this barren land up."  
  
Nagi blinked, trying to soak in the information. What had Schu called him that one time when he was drunk? Oh yes, a 'knowledge sponge'. Like most weird things his older teammate said, it was probably a compliment mixed into an insult. "I...you want to spend time with me?"  
  
A beat, in which Schuldig's smirk grew wider, and understanding dawned on Nagi's face. "Schuldig, no! I hate colors. I hate decorations. I like plain things. Go decorate with Brad or something."  
  
Schuldig entered the room them, several large bags grasped in his hand. "Chibi, I could have spent all of this money on clubs and women. You supposed to be a little less...frowney. And for your information, all the stuff I got is black and white. You can kiss my feet later." He swept by the silent teenager, momentarily focusing his eyes on the large, liquidly blue eyes that watched him warily. Those sinfully beautiful blue eyes.  
  
He dumped the rolled up posters onto the bed, along with some other trinkets. "Okay, kid, I got a lot of shit here for you. I got a print by M.C. Esher, since you're into all that smart, psyche-your mind shit. Let's get hanging, doll face."  
  
Nagi blinked again, but this time when his dark blue eyes focused on Schuldig, a smile graced his pink lips.  
  
Schuldig was in love.  
  
*********************** Well, Wonderboy and Young Nastyman joined forces; They formed a band the likes of which have never been seen, And they called themselves Tenacious D. That's right, Me! And K.G.! That's me, we're now Tenacious D! Come fly with me, fly!  
  
***********************  
  
Five minutes into their work, a conflict had begun. "Schuldig, I may be decoratively decrepit, but I know that the poster will look better on that wall!" He pointed his finger for emphasis, and easily moved the poster over to the far wall.  
  
"So, pulling out the powers. Touché, young one." 'But you forget I have the real advantage here. Let's see what Nagi's been thinking of today...'  
  
Nagi shivered at the familiar feeling of Schuldig exploring his thoughts. And he had been thinking of Schuldig all day! So caught up in putting up a mental block, his attention was diverted from the poster situated haphazardly against the wall. "Schuldig, no!"  
  
"Someone's been thinking of me! I have an admirer. So, you get molested today?" He sauntered over to Nagi, stopping a foot away from the telekinetic. He reached out towards Nagi's bashfully lowered head and ran his fingers through the silky dark hair presented to him.  
  
"No. I meant to tell you. I guess I don't look molestable today. It must be the gray school uniform. It throws some people off."  
  
The redhead didn't answer, simply ran his hand over the smooth, pale skin of Nagi's skin to his chin, which he lifted. Once his eyes met, he offered an amused but gentle smile. "I think the uniform is sexy. It hugs all the right places. You have some very...right places, Naggles."  
  
Nagi wished the music would take away the blush he could feel raising on his face. His music could always take away everything. His loneliness, his annoyance with the world around him, his lack of formal dancing abilities, so why the hell couldn't the music take away his inane embarrassment?  
  
Music was supposed to make everything better!  
  
************************* Wonderboy, what is the secret of your power? Wonderboy, won't you take me far away from the mucky-muck man, Oh!  
  
*************************  
  
"Schuldig..." Nagi looked up, eyes half-lidded and lips unconsciously parted. The telepath was tracing imaginary patterns onto his cheek with his finger, swaying to the music. It took Nagi a few second to realize he was swaying too. He sucked in a breath as Schuldig leaned closer and closer to his face, waiting for the inevitable.  
  
The inevitable came in the form of warm breath ghosting over his ear. "So tell me, where do you think the poster of the naked woman should go?"  
  
Just as his blush was beginning to disappear, it started right back up again. His skin was on fire, and it wasn't because of the incredibly sexy man before him. "Naked woman? Please tell me you're joking." Several of the magazine pages on the floor began to flutter, which Schuldig noticed immediately.  
  
He let out a laugh before saying, "C'mon Naggles, you know you're too young for that kind of thing." 'I have a poster of me nude, if your interested, though. Never to young to enjoy fine art.'  
  
Nagi let out an amused snort at that.  
  
************************* Take my hand! Young Nastyman, and we'll fly! Bring out your broadsword. There's the hydra. Slice his throat! And grab his scroat.  
  
*************************  
  
"Fine art? I knew you were conceited, but that..." Nagi trailed off, his normal bored tone tinged with amusement.  
  
"You'd be conceited if you were me. I mean, I am sexy, I'm foreign, I'm stylish, and I'm—"  
  
"About to kiss a fifteen year old boy?" Nagi gave himself a telekinetic pat on the back for having such courage. He braced himself for the German's reply. He could feel the mental fingers ghosting through his mind again, and shivered against his will.  
  
'You're not a boy from where I'm standing, Nagi.' He dived into the Japanese teens' thoughts, delving into the wonderful world of Nagi. There was no getting tired of the boy. "And I'd very much like to kiss the man I'm looking at."  
  
Nagi leaned forward, a tiny smile on his face. "I'd like the man I'm looking at to kiss me."  
  
He tilted his face up, and peered into Schu's eyes, waiting.  
  
********************* You take the high road, I'll take the low. There, the crevasse, Fill it with your mighty juice.  
  
*********************  
  
It didn't take more than a few seconds for their lips to meet. As soon as Nagi felt soft lips against his own, he whimpered and threw his arms around Schuldig's neck and let his body collapse against the redhead's.  
  
He knew he must be nowhere near as good a kisser as Schuldig. Besides Tot, he had no real experience. 'You're not allowed to think of ex's when you're kissing an inexplicably sexy man' a nasally voice purred into his mind.  
  
Nagi laughed against Schu's lips, but stopped once a tongue darted into his opened mouth. Schuldig explored the insides of Nagi's mouth, eliciting a moan from said boy. After a few moments of tonsil hockey, Schuldig pulled away.  
  
"Well, Wonderboy," he said breathlessly, "I'll take the high road, if you take the low. Either way, this room needs a serious makeover. I can't make out in such a drab area. And imagine the sex!" He spoke in a joking tone, smirking down at the boy in his arms.  
  
Even as Nagi felt the blush climbing up his cheeks, he couldn't remember ever having smiled so much in one day. Luckily, he had left the song on repeat, so they didn't run out of music. By the time it had played the tenth time, they were still arguing the location of the poster, with a kiss every so often.  
  
Excluding blushing, music really did make everything better.  
  
~FIN~  
  
SO, give me feedback. Good, bad, didn't like the song, want to cyber-kiss my feet, LET ME KNOW.  
  
This is my first songfic, so be gentle.  
  
R * E * V * I * E * W 


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